Emotions Are Waves

photo credit: hakahonu

Follow up to Previous Post – Accept Your Random Mindstorms that I based on a post by PlugInId

Emotions are Waves

They come, they crest, they go.

The precepts (mentioned in the post noted above) below seem like a mighty tall order.  See what you think.  Read on.

• Do not seek pleasure for its own sake
• Do not, under any circumstances, depend on a partial feeling
• Be detached from desire your whole life long
• Be detached from desire your whole life long
• Do not regret what you have done
• Never let yourself be saddened by a separation
• Resentment and complaint are appropriate neither for oneself or others
• Never be jealous
• Do not fear death
• Do not let yourself be guided by the feeling of lust or love

Emotions, feelings, bodily sensations are tough to corral.  It’s unlikely that when something goes haywire (that’s a word my grandfather used, always loved it) that you won’t feel sad, or ticked off, even regretful.

The problem comes up when we start resisting life and the feelings that come with it.  It could very well be that much of what we call depression occurs when we resist feeling sad when sadness is there.

So, why do we try to control these admittedly challenging emotions? Take a look sometime at Russ Harris’ book The Happiness Trap.  Harris and Stephen Hayes – you’ve seen him pop up here from time to time – tell us that anyone who lives in the “language’ community, i.e. most of us, from Wall Street to Bleek Street, from the White House to the Big House has been taught that we are able to control them.  The sad truth in that matter is this -

“The more you resist a feeling, the more it has you.”

I’m sure it may sound kind of crazy, but having these things we call ‘negative feelings’ is common, even to those who believe they can control them.  As a matter of fact, there is evidence that trying to control them may have some dire consequences.

We do not have to do what they tell us to do.  Anger may tell us to lash out; sadness may tell us to withdraw; what we call anxiety may tell us we certainly can’t speak in public.  They are part of this mystery we call the mind, the story we tell ourselves.

So, who’s in charge, you or your mind?