A Wider Angle Lens
Here is something I have learned about the challenges I wrote about yesterday, the brain/board of directors conundrum.
Telling my “selves” at night that I will exercise the next day doesn’t work. If I fail to get right to getting out the door in the morning, my mind will start beating me up. If I weren’t such an enlightened being (?) it would be very easy to start feeling guilty and get mad at myself for feeling guilty. This sets up self-perpetuating stress cycle.
While framing life in those short term bursts may not be a recipe for disaster, it sure raises the odds in favor of failure.
Is it possible that when this happens, we are looking at life through the wrong lens? Looking with a close up, tight shot lens, when maybe a wider angle lens would be better? The wider lens iss like taking a step back to see a larger picture.
Charlotte Joko Beck wrote some time ago that when something is looming, taking up a lot of room in life, one solution is to put it in a bigger box. That’s what the wider lens does; it changes the perspective, like putting it in a bigger box.
What does taking that step back do for us? It provides the perspective to see what a short term challenge looks like in light of a longer view.
Men are created different; they lose their social freedom and their individual autonomy in seeking to become like each other. via Mark Riesman
The short view is like being the driver of a bus, and letting the passengers, that committee of the mind, decide each and every turn. With the longer view, based on chosen values, we take back both the task and the response-ability of driving. The passengers are along for the ride. No matter how much they threaten or grumble, you have the map and know where you’re going.
Here is another quick example. Over the past few years, I have realized how much I value autonomy. Unfortunately my autonomy hasn’t as of yet been very lucrative. There are times when I am scared to death; my mind throws out reason after reason for going out and rejoining the rat race. When that happens (like every day, for example) I have somehow had the wherewithal to step back and consider that value. Work for someone else? Work for myself as long as I can at least keep my nose above water? Freedom wins every time, even when I’m scared to death.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. — Mark Twain
Goals are fine. You can do tasks, complete goals, and cross them off the list. The question that we have to ask is whether or not these tasks fit into our own big picture of where we are going and on what path. The big picture is the path we are forging that we can be proud to call our life — Values. Actually, Value-ing.
Value-ing is knowing what is important, what makes our lives whole, and walking that path. And the beauty is that it’s the one thing no one can take from you. You can only give it away.
How do we know what our values are? We’ll tackle that one tomorrow.
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