Fear is on Your Side; Just Don’t Trust What it Says

How to Change That for Good

Fear is not the enemy. It’s a Jedi Mind Trick – only the mind is our own.

“Just as Socrates felt that it was necessary to create a tension in the mind, so that individuals could rise from the bondage of myths and half truths, so must we create the kind of tension in society that will help [people] rise from the dark depths ….”~Martin Luther King

Dr. King was talking about racism and prejudice. He could easily have been talking to me when I want to accomplish something. Are you anything like this?

You set up a lofty goal, raise the bar, so to speak. It’s the first ingredient in ‘creative tension.‘ Any time we identify a gap between where we are and where we want to be, this tension in the mind is put into play.

And then fear and trepidation set in. What are the choices when that happens?

There are only two.

We can go forward and do the work to fulfill the goal we have identified. That’s often the one we prefer.

Or we can succumb to the fear, the worry, that voice in our heads that say, “What are you thinking? There’s no way you can do that.”

And then we lower the bar, convincing ourselves that the goal was unreachable in the first place.

Natalie Christie, over at The Tiny Soprano blog calls it the door snake. Have you ever seen one of those? It’s (correct me if I’m wrong) a sort of cloth stuffed snake thingie that people put in front of their door to keep the wolf of bad weather on the other side.  She has a few suggestions -

Acknowledge that your snake is only trying to protect you.

Show the snake some gratitude.

Move your snake before you try to escape.

If it gets stuck in the door, massive action is required.

Why is the snake trying to protect you from what you really want?

The Snake and the Status Quo

Your friendly serpent wants you to have what you’ve already got. It likes the status quo. Even if you think the status quo sucks, as far as the snake is concerned, you – and she (or he, take your pick) – are safe here.The long skinny critter will even try to convince you that you like it where you are.

It might be uncomfortable.

It might even be painful.

It might feel like being stuck.

It might feel like this is the way it’s always been.

But it’s the devil the snake knows. The snake knows that as long as it stays here – and keeps you or I here with it – there will be no disappointment. As painful as it may be, it’s a known quantity.

Fear Wants You to Believe Your Own Bad Publicity

To change is to tell the snake no. To show it some gratitude, as Natalie says, and thank it for its input, and then let it know, “Sorry, I appreciate what you’re telling me, but this time, I think I will go ahead on this one.”

You don’t have to move the reptile though. You can do what needs to be done, and take it with you. It’s there anyway, so what the hell, let it go along for the ride.

Fear can only get in the way if we take it for its word.

photo credit: MarcelGermain