You Don’t Have to Age Like My GrandParents

photo credit: Ethan Hein

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.  ~John Barrymore

I started wondering today – listening to something while I was out twalking and this idea popped in – wondering about what I am trying to do with this blog and the projects I am working on.  Asking myself questions.

Why am I so hell bent on this brain stuff?

And fitness in brain and body? Why can’t I just relax, sit back; take it easy?

When did I start making this so important?

A couple of stories came to mind. They are real stories and things that have nagged me for a long time.

Fake Grandma and Grandpa

First one.  My fake grandfather and grandmother (long story, we’ll get to that another time) were both born in 1895.  Okay, I can see you all out there, wheels turning, trying to figure out how old that makes me. I’ll make that simple.  If  your are among my target audience, baby boomers, you were born betwen 1946 and 1964.  Well, me too.  Anyway, back to the story.  They were born about 5 days apart, March 5th and March 9th of that year.  What would that make them now?  Hmmm, about 114.

While this is not the main thing I remember about them, it is how I remember them toward the end of their lives.  The picture that comes to mind is that between them, they made one person.  About 15 years before he died, my grandfather got sick; I was a kid then, but it was some kind of cancer.  He had his colon removed and had one of those ostomy bags.  That stands out because my mom went down to clean it every night and occasionally it would overflow.  Horrible.  Horrible smell, and horrible mess that my mother would dutifully clean up.  I still shudder when I think about it.  Within about a year after that surgery, he started getting lost while driving around the neighborhood.  A couple of years after that, he sat down in a chair next to a window in what was their dining room.  I don’t recall ever seeing him out of that chair after that. Over some period of time after that, his mind just seemed to leave him.  He never had any problem getting around. His legs were good, he never, to my recollection needed any help getting to bed or whatever.  He jus sat there, quietly fading. He was in that chair for a good ten years before he just, somehow, decided to cash in. He was there and then he was gone. Just like that.

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. Mark Twain

My grandmother was the other half of that person. Her mind was as sharp as a tack.  I remember her being a giant of a woman.  I know now that it was just perspective.  I was little, everyone seemed like giants, but most certainly her. Her destiny was different.  Over time she got smaller and smaller, more bent over, slower.  When we would take her grocery shopping, I remember always having to lift her legs into the car.  Couldn’t do it herself.  She went from cane, to walker, to not being able to walk.  Her mind was like a razor.  Unfortunately, over time I didn’t do it as much, but there was never a time that she couldn’t hold a conversation. Sharp as a razor.

She was 83 years old when she died, but she didn’t weigh a pound over 79.

19 Checks

Here’s the other story.  I’ve mentioned that in another life, I worked for the Evil Empire.  You may or may not recall that. Not important.  It was in one of the legacy industries here in the US.  Been around a long time, and has never changed a lick. It was a male dominated, machismo legacy industry. Legend has it, and I have never seen anything to disprove this, is that when one of those guys retired, their average retirement was 19 months.  As they would put it, their expected retirement was 19 checks. That wasn’t because they went back to work.

It Don’t Gotta Be That Way

I’m not looking for violins for them or me here. My point is that, with what we know now, that doesn’t have to happen. At least it doesn’t have to happen with the regularity it used to.  I don’t claim to be an expert in brain science or exercise physiology.  On the other hand, I love looking for the information that will help you (and I) live better, think better, and be better.   That’s the stuff I try to share here.  It’s why I write this blog.

I don’t want you to become my grandparents or one of those guys that left the Evil Empire for the mythical Empire in the Sky.  I want to help you live well with what you have, and regain what you’ve lost.  Starting from where you are. Living Well? As has been said, it IS the best revenge, isn’t it? Well, isn’t it?