To: You

From: Your Brain

Re: Our Symbiotic Relationship

First off, you’re using me, but you’re not using me well. It’s my job to take care of you, and I need your help to do it. It’s not that hard.

You’re not a Kid Any More

I really want you to use me to make your life better and you don’t have to spend your life taking care of me. I am built to last, you know. Some say I can hang in their for 120.years or so.

The good news is all you have to do are the basics. It’s really win-win. Are ya ready?

1. Take a time out once in a while.

You need to sleep (See Number 9). When you do, I rest, too. But I need a few other time outs. For the most part, yours truly, your brain, is on all the time. It would really help if you  take some time to sit quietly; that lets me quiet down, too. But watch what happens. You will see me wandering off into the past and future and notice how hard it is to keep me on point. I’m sorry, but I’m just used to wandering all over the place whenever I want. It’s a habit. Those people who tell you that meditation is to shut me off. They’re nuts. Sit there for two minutes and I’ll start making grocery lists or going back to when that kid hit you in the third grade. It’s no big deal when you know I’m doing it. The hard part is just noticing.

2. Get up off your butt. No excuses.

You aren’t just a couple of legs, a neck and a hollow shell to carry me around, but I’m not much good without those things either. You don’t have to go and join the World Wrestling Federation (oh, I suppose you didn’t want anybody to know you watched that stuff), but get out and walk, go for a swim, stretch yourself a little. I just love it when you send me all that blood. It helps me stay healthy and grow. They don’t call it lifeblood for nothing, ya know.

3. Make something, solve a problem, do one thing different. Every day.

You ever notice how when we drive somewhere, we get there and you can’t even remember the details of driving. That’s because I get so used to these mundane routes you take and go on autopilot. Remember what those pilots from Minneapolis did when they were on autopilot. Evolution gave you opposable thumbs and – not bragging now – me. Think about what the collective you and me have done. We learned how to fly, for crying out loud. We invented language. We are faster than a speeding bullet and we leap tall buildings in a single bound. Oh, no, that’s someone else. Cancel that. Point is, we didn’t do that from sitting around doing the same thing every day. We are together to INVENT things, to help other people; we can do GREAT things.

4. Quit putting all that crap in your body.

McDonald’s will survive without you. I promise you that. I have to take some of the blame for this. When you put that sugar-laden stuff into your mouth; hell, even when you think about it, I just get such a dopamine rush. I get chills just thinking about it. Unfortunately, you are the one with the hands. You put that stuff in your mouth. Sometimes you have to learn not to listen to me. Go against your brain. I don’t like that, but it’s good for me to go without that stuff. You put in me and I get cravings like a junky. Knock it off.

5. Socialize.

I’m here in the dark. I get lonely. I need other brains and nervous systems in my life. Excuse me, in our life. It’s nice when I have someone besides myself to talk to. I can’t remember who it was, but some famous brain said, “No man (sexist bastard) is an island.” And by the way, being on Twitter and Facebook is not having a real conversation.

6. Laugh, giggle, snort, guffaw, pass gas.

Do stuff that’s fun. Every time you laugh, it feels like the weight of the world is taken off my shoulders. It takes the weight off all the turtles, too. You relieve stress for both of us when you simply make that barking sound of laughter. It’s in my memory banks somewhere that someone once said that if a comedian were running the world, we wouldn’t be having so-o-o-o-o many problems.

7. Use me. Use me a lot.

You’re not going use me up. I have to stay in shape, too. I’m not a muscle, but I’m like a muscle. I can get stronger…and stay stronger, too. Brain fitness is not a joke. Do a cross word puzzle once in a while, buy one of those brain fitness computer program thingies. They’re fun and you’d be doing me a favor. You can do other things to help, too. Read a book or newspaper. Write something. Turn off the damn television. And the computer.

8. Sleep, perchance to dream.

You know how your body feels when you don’t get enough rest? Well, I feel the same way. How much sleep do I need? How about from 6 1/2 to 8 hours. Those people who say they only need 4 hours of sleep a night. Give me a break. Americans are chronically sleep deprived. Teenagers are the worst. Get ready, I’m going to give you one of those “studies show” things> Studies show that many people, driving home from work on a Friday night drive at about the same ability as someone with a .10 alcohol level. And yes, they are the ones that are not drinking.

9. Take a nap.

I know that once in a while, we’re going to have a sleepless night, or we’ll have to get up early, whatever. Naps help. There’s even a choice here. Lay down, take a nap for about 20 minutes. That seems to be the best. It keeps us away from going into deep sleep. If more is better, then shoot for 90 minutes. That takes us through a full sleep cycle.

10. Accept the fact that life is never going to go exactly like you want it to go.

Stress and life are like a hand in a glove. They fit together. As a matter of fact, without stress there would be no life. Stress occurs when you heart beats against itself. Once you, me, whoever – I’m getting confused about who’s who here – accepts stress as a normal part of life, it begins to lose its power to drive you up a wall.

Okay, there’s a lot more. But that’s enough for now. Like I told you before, I don’t want you to spend you life taking care of me. I just want you to help me take care of you.  Wouldn’t that be a cool thing for both of us?

Your humble servant,

Your Brain

photo credit: Don Solo