Comments on: Chris Brogan, Please Don’t Praise this Post http://www.thisoldbrain.net/personal-development/chris-brogan-please-dont-praise-this-post/ Seeking Success Together in a Networked World Tue, 09 Mar 2010 01:43:09 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Mike Kirkeberghttp://www.thisoldbrain.net/personal-development/chris-brogan-please-dont-praise-this-post/comment-page-1/#comment-1099 Mike Kirkeberg Sat, 20 Jun 2009 23:25:05 +0000 http://www.thisoldbrain.net/?p=1476#comment-1099 I look at it a little differently. Research I have looked at (related to both workplace and education) most often show that the results of praise are either negative or break even. What seems to work is acknowledgement and encouragement. It is lot more work to notice and be able to describe what someone is doing. It is pretty easy (and unfortunately ineffective) to tell someone "Good job." Thanks for your comment. That post seemed to raise a lot of ruckus at the time. Mike What is a future expat? Is that in "going to leave the country"? I look at it a little differently. Research I have looked at (related to both workplace and education) most often show that the results of praise are either negative or break even. What seems to work is acknowledgement and encouragement. It is lot more work to notice and be able to describe what someone is doing. It is pretty easy (and unfortunately ineffective) to tell someone “Good job.”
Thanks for your comment. That post seemed to raise a lot of ruckus at the time.
Mike
What is a future expat? Is that in “going to leave the country”?

]]> By: FutureExpathttp://www.thisoldbrain.net/personal-development/chris-brogan-please-dont-praise-this-post/comment-page-1/#comment-1097 FutureExpat Fri, 19 Jun 2009 23:52:14 +0000 http://www.thisoldbrain.net/?p=1476#comment-1097 Hey, found you from Darren's 31 Day program. As the parent of five kids who were all involved in music programs of one sort or another, and as a musician myself, I cringe whenever parents jump up and give a standing ovation after every piece the band or orchestra plays, or the chorus sings. Once in a while, they MAY give an ovation-worthy performance. But if you jump and scream and yell "Bravo" every time they play "Mary Had a Little Lamb" out of tune and out of rhythm, what are they learning? I believe in praise -- sparingly and appropriately. I don't believe in praise just because they showed up. Hey, found you from Darren’s 31 Day program. As the parent of five kids who were all involved in music programs of one sort or another, and as a musician myself, I cringe whenever parents jump up and give a standing ovation after every piece the band or orchestra plays, or the chorus sings. Once in a while, they MAY give an ovation-worthy performance. But if you jump and scream and yell “Bravo” every time they play “Mary Had a Little Lamb” out of tune and out of rhythm, what are they learning? I believe in praise — sparingly and appropriately. I don’t believe in praise just because they showed up.

]]> By: Mike Kirkeberghttp://www.thisoldbrain.net/personal-development/chris-brogan-please-dont-praise-this-post/comment-page-1/#comment-375 Mike Kirkeberg Sun, 26 Apr 2009 04:59:59 +0000 http://www.thisoldbrain.net/?p=1476#comment-375 Hmmm, if you can't say it's great, then I am shooting myself in the foot a bit with that one. Oh, well, must stick to my premise for now.Thank you for the thought provoking comment! Hmmm, if you can’t say it’s great, then I am shooting myself in the foot a bit with that one. Oh, well, must stick to my premise for now.

Thank you for the thought provoking comment!

]]> By: Sharon Hurley Hallhttp://www.thisoldbrain.net/personal-development/chris-brogan-please-dont-praise-this-post/comment-page-1/#comment-373 Sharon Hurley Hall Sat, 25 Apr 2009 23:24:26 +0000 http://www.thisoldbrain.net/?p=1476#comment-373 Yes, praise is a judgement, but that's not so bad if you're on the receiving end. It's also a great way to encourage people and a word of praise at the right time can make people feel like they have won the lottery. I wouldn't write praise off just yet, but just in case, I won't say what an interesting, thought provoking post this was ;) Yes, praise is a judgement, but that's not so bad if you're on the receiving end. It's also a great way to encourage people and a word of praise at the right time can make people feel like they have won the lottery. I wouldn't write praise off just yet, but just in case, I won't say what an interesting, thought provoking post this was ;)

]]> By: In Defense of Praise « The Sky’s the Limithttp://www.thisoldbrain.net/personal-development/chris-brogan-please-dont-praise-this-post/comment-page-1/#comment-365 In Defense of Praise « The Sky’s the Limit Wed, 22 Apr 2009 18:09:35 +0000 http://www.thisoldbrain.net/?p=1476#comment-365 [...] 22, 2009 · No Comments Mike Kirkeberg of This Old Brain.net responds to Chris Brogan’s post In Praise of Praise with an admonishment not to praise his response. [...] [...] 22, 2009 · No Comments Mike Kirkeberg of This Old Brain.net responds to Chris Brogan’s post In Praise of Praise with an admonishment not to praise his response. [...]

]]> By: Sheryl Breukerhttp://www.thisoldbrain.net/personal-development/chris-brogan-please-dont-praise-this-post/comment-page-1/#comment-364 Sheryl Breuker Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:20:17 +0000 http://www.thisoldbrain.net/?p=1476#comment-364 You make really good points, but I'd like to consider something. What if, as children from infancy on, we were never given praise, either for physical accomplishments as we do when a child learns to sit up, learns to walk, produces sound, but rather was greeted with indifference? How would we as a whole be impacted? Teaching a child to trust their own instincts is not mutually exclusive from praise. Teaching them to expect praise to believe they have value, is another thing altogether. I'm glad I happened on this post. Fantastic. I love a good thoughtful perspective. Conversation that gives one pause is valuable to me. You make really good points, but I'd like to consider something. What if, as children from infancy on, we were never given praise, either for physical accomplishments as we do when a child learns to sit up, learns to walk, produces sound, but rather was greeted with indifference? How would we as a whole be impacted? Teaching a child to trust their own instincts is not mutually exclusive from praise. Teaching them to expect praise to believe they have value, is another thing altogether.
I'm glad I happened on this post. Fantastic. I love a good thoughtful perspective. Conversation that gives one pause is valuable to me.

]]> By: Hanneshttp://www.thisoldbrain.net/personal-development/chris-brogan-please-dont-praise-this-post/comment-page-1/#comment-363 Hannes Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:17:09 +0000 http://www.thisoldbrain.net/?p=1476#comment-363 Hi Mike, it might be interesting to look at praise as a gift. If you give a gift, do you expect something in return, do you use it as a currency to buy attention, approval? Or do you give a gift to pass it on and do you consider ownership to be the antidote of value? Are we talking about habits or rituals, or are we talking about occasional gifts? It's interesting to see that in several tribal cultures the notion of ownership does not go along with the notion of gifts. Gifts 'die' when people claim ownership over them or when people use them as a currency for transaction. In these tribes, added value comes from the habbit of passing the gift along, not really from owning the gift. It's not the goods that are valued in an exchange, it's the act of exchanging which is considered the most valuable. It adds value to the artefact and to the lives of all men involved. Now what's praise? Have you ever known praise to be a gift like that? Do you think it exists? Hi Mike, it might be interesting to look at praise as a gift. If you give a gift, do you expect something in return, do you use it as a currency to buy attention, approval? Or do you give a gift to pass it on and do you consider ownership to be the antidote of value? Are we talking about habits or rituals, or are we talking about occasional gifts?

It's interesting to see that in several tribal cultures the notion of ownership does not go along with the notion of gifts. Gifts 'die' when people claim ownership over them or when people use them as a currency for transaction. In these tribes, added value comes from the habbit of passing the gift along, not really from owning the gift. It's not the goods that are valued in an exchange, it's the act of exchanging which is considered the most valuable. It adds value to the artefact and to the lives of all men involved.

Now what's praise? Have you ever known praise to be a gift like that? Do you think it exists?

]]> By: NeuronOutlawhttp://www.thisoldbrain.net/personal-development/chris-brogan-please-dont-praise-this-post/comment-page-1/#comment-362 NeuronOutlaw Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:03:33 +0000 http://www.thisoldbrain.net/?p=1476#comment-362 Yup, you are describing the way to encourage without transaction, and to acknowledge excellence from your own point of view. It takes out the good/bad, praise/blame dichotomies. Yup, you are describing the way to encourage without transaction, and to acknowledge excellence from your own point of view. It takes out the good/bad, praise/blame dichotomies.

]]> By: NeuronOutlawhttp://www.thisoldbrain.net/personal-development/chris-brogan-please-dont-praise-this-post/comment-page-1/#comment-360 NeuronOutlaw Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:01:58 +0000 http://www.thisoldbrain.net/?p=1476#comment-360 Your comment is concise and explains where you are coming from and it adds to my thinking on this subject. When you say, \\"you have to love unconditionally\\" it points directly to a flaw in the praise culture. Praise makes life a set of transactions (even though we usually don\\'t know it) and it is conditional. See some of the other comments (and my next post). The key to all this is acknowledgement and encouragement, with the basic assumption that people are creative, resourceful, whole, and self-determined. Thank you. Your comment is concise and explains where you are coming from and it adds to my thinking on this subject. When you say, \\"you have to love unconditionally\\" it points directly to a flaw in the praise culture. Praise makes life a set of transactions (even though we usually don\\'t know it) and it is conditional. See some of the other comments (and my next post). The key to all this is acknowledgement and encouragement, with the basic assumption that people are creative, resourceful, whole, and self-determined.
Thank you.

]]> By: NeuronOutlawhttp://www.thisoldbrain.net/personal-development/chris-brogan-please-dont-praise-this-post/comment-page-1/#comment-361 NeuronOutlaw Wed, 22 Apr 2009 12:01:58 +0000 http://www.thisoldbrain.net/?p=1476#comment-361 Your comment is concise and explains where you are coming from and it adds to my thinking on this subject. When you say, \\"you have to love unconditionally\\" it points directly to a flaw in the praise culture. Praise makes life a set of transactions (even though we usually don\\'t know it) and it is conditional. See some of the other comments (and my next post). The key to all this is acknowledgement and encouragement, with the basic assumption that people are creative, resourceful, whole, and self-determined. Thank you. Your comment is concise and explains where you are coming from and it adds to my thinking on this subject. When you say, \\"you have to love unconditionally\\" it points directly to a flaw in the praise culture. Praise makes life a set of transactions (even though we usually don\\'t know it) and it is conditional. See some of the other comments (and my next post). The key to all this is acknowledgement and encouragement, with the basic assumption that people are creative, resourceful, whole, and self-determined.
Thank you.

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